Flatwood Monster
A mysterious cryptid first sighted in Flatwoods, West Virginia in 1952. Described as a tall, dark figure with glowing red eyes and a distinctive spade-shaped head.
FLATWOODS VEIL
$15.50 USD
Acquisition File: DWL-CRPT003
Status: SPECIMEN INTAKE — LEVEL ██
Subject recovered in Braxton County following aerial anomalies cross-referenced to the Flatwoods Monster file. Preliminary assays indicate deviations in scent expression and ███ beyond baseline controls. Field notes cite an “overwhelmingly complex” aquatic profile consistent with Cool Water benchmarks: aloe vera + green botanicals on initial contact, migrating through clean ozone/soft florals, then resolving into mineral musk + driftwood with a concealed stack of [DATA EXPUNGED] micro-accords. Texture analysis verifies ground oatmeal + sea salt as a controlled exfoliant matrix. Variables under [REDACTED] review; distribution capped; repeat-purchase behavior observed in exposed subjects.
LAB-LOGGED
QC // PASSED
EVIDENCE GRADE
SEALED AUTHENTIC
NOTE BREAKDOWN —
TOP: Cool Aquatic Accord, Fresh Air
HEART: Aloe Vera, Green Botanicals
BASE: Soft Woods, [DATA EXPUNGED] Musk
MATRIX: Ground Oatmeal // Sea Salt
USE PROTOCOL
Wet bar; lather, rinse. Drain between uses to avoid matrix breakdown. Avoid ocular exposure. repeat-acquisition behavior observed.
WARNINGS
Do not store near unverified artifacts. Keep away from heat sources >113°F. Color may Vary. Not for ingestion. Report anomalies to Incident Desk: DWL-ID-███